With our fast paced society and the extreme demands hitting us from every side, more and more couples are forgetting to nurture their most important asset—their marriage. Happy marriages all require simple acts. Simple gestures. Simple conversations. Just doing those simple things will strengthen your marriage.
As love and marriage experts, our research in 48 countries with thousands of successfully married couples revealed 5 ways happily married couples keep their relationships strong.
Here are the 5 simple tips from these great couples around the world that you can use to strengthen your marriage:
1. Be a relationship cheerleader.
Be a relationship cheerleader. Be the number one cheerleader for your spouse. Support your spouse in every way you can. Let your partner know just how important they are to you and to the rest of the world. Learn to sense when your spouse needs help, even when they don’t ask for it. Helpfulness and support should become such a matter of habit that you will feel and act like a winning team.
2. Leave anger outside the bedroom.
Leave anger outside the bedroom. Never go to bed mad! Always talk it over first and settle things before sleeping. You may have one very long night before going to bed, but you will get the problem resolved. Communicate constantly. Couples must talk about anything and everything. In successful marriage there are no sacred cows – no secrets. Don’t be ruled by emotions.
3. Make loving behavior a continuous habit.
Make loving behavior a continuous habit. Great marriages are about mutual love and respect. Habits can be formed either for good or bad, so why not make it a habit to always treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated? The demonstration and expression of loving behavior towards your spouse should be a pervasive characteristic of your marriage. Call your them, text them, send a romantic email, or leave a love note on their wallet or purse in the morning or before you go to bed at night. Make showing your love a daily habit.
4. Touch each other multiple times per day
Touching each other multiple times per day is the norm in successful marriages. Touching says, “I love you so much I simply must touch you.” Make a point of touching your spouse in some way at least ten times a day. Use touching as the “secret code” of your very personal love for each other. Touch your spouse as you compliment them, when you tell them you love them, and when you pass them in your home. Touching often is good!!
5. Happy marriages are exciting
Happy marriages are exciting, full of unpredictable things, and never boring. Don’t always do that which is predictable. Upend expectancies! Variety is the spice of life. Make it a point to do something stimulating, new, and exciting each day. Keep your love for each other vibrant and alive! Don’t get into relationship doldrums.
Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our blog suggests you are highly interested in making your marriage work! And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts.
**Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own.
By Dr. Charles Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts