There is a lot of reasons to be wary of the NSA database, not least of which is the fact that our own elected representatives seem to be able to only answer questions about it in double negatives, and cabinet-level officials to send angry letters to Russia.
According to an article in The Atlantic (a magazine whose website actually features a link to an article about exploding sweeteners) in an interview with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, Georgia Congressman Saxby Chambliss denied the fact the NSA is holding onto emails and telephone conversations.
“As a matter of fact, we don’t monitor email, that’s what kind of assures me that what the reporting is, is not correct. Because no emails are monitored now. They used to be. But that stopped two or three years ago. So I feel confident that there may have been some abuse, but if there was it was pure accidental.”
Chambliss’ response was not only convoluted, it may have also set a record for hair-splitting after his earlier claims of being a “problem-solver.” To his credit, Stephanopoulos reportedly sat back, scratched his chin thoughtfully, and then tweeted about how stupid Chambliss would look in a chicken suit.
Still, this has sparked major concerns over the matter. Specifically, worries abound about the trillions of emails allegedly held on NSA servers, so much so that it has sparked protests, mainly because while this writer’s emails could be accessible to NSA bureacrats, it appears that only texts sent by Anthony Weiner rise to the level of clear and present National Security threat, since only reporters with high-level government leak access seem to be getting their hands on them.
What makes this particular story so unnerving? This may have something to do with the fact that Attorney General Eric Holder sent Russia’s Vladimir Putin a letter promising that Wikileaks source Edward Snowden would only be subjected to “enhanced interrogation techiques” in the event Snowden releases spoilers for next week’s episode of “Under the Dome.” This sort of diplomatic game is common when it comes to fugitive leakers, especially when they are believed to be holding sensitive government secrets, such as the Presidential Chocolate Pudding Recipes, or what where the First Dog takes his morning constitutional (spoiler alert: it is NOT on the constitution.)
Despite the Snowden situation, all eyes remain on the NSA, which has proven that while the government can monitor the emails, texts and phone conversations of every American on Earth, it remains incapable of passing an energy policy which doesn’t seem to be written using an Etch-A-Sketch. However, this pales in comparison to recent reports that seem to indicate that Rev. Pat Robertson has gone insane; mainly because he said something cogent.
The octogenarian televangelist, in a recent interview on Christian Broadcasting Network, stated that he didn’t know of any sin directly related to transgendered individuals, and that he believed that some men and women are trapped in opposite-gendered bodies.
“It’s very rare. But it’s true — or women that are in men’s bodies — and that they want a sex change. That is a very permanent thing, believe me, when you have certain body parts amputated and when you have shot up with various kinds of hormones. It’s a radical procedure. I don’t think there’s any sin associated with that. I don’t condemn somebody for doing that.”
The NSA categorically denied they monitored this interview and have demanded that Edward Snowden release all information about that night he saw the agent cross dressing in the New York bathroom. Vladimir Putin, in a rare show of solidarity with American officials, admitted that Snowden really needs to take a shower, or spray himself with Sea Breeze, or something. News of this information sent 700 Club members into a giving frenzy, and President Barack Obama is expected to issue an Executive Order this weekend stating that he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about any of it, and to also quit asking questions about what he sent to William and Kate as a baby shower gift.
The NSA admitted they will be monitoring that situation closely.