On Monday 27, 2013, the newest season of The Bachelorette premiered on ABC. The latest belle of the ball is Desiree Hartsock, a bridal stylist from California who previously made it to the final four on The Bachelor. She was dismissed by Sean Lowe after a confrontational encounter between Sean and Desiree’s brother during the home date. After not receiving a rose, Desiree told Sean that he was “making the biggest mistake,” and during the limo ride, she admitted that all she wanted was “to make someone happy.” Now, the shoe is on the other foot and Desiree has the chance to see if there are any gentlemen out there who will reciprocate.
Unfortunately for Ms. Hartsock, the casting directors chose quite a strange group of men for her. One could only imagine what was running through her mind as she was greeting the slew of freaks. It makes one wonder if ABC purposefully chose a bunch of oddballs and one normal guy, so that she will end up with the man the producers want in the finale. Of course, ABC would not do that though, right? Reality television is really real, right?
Despite not particularly being a fan of the show, the season with Sean Lowe was quite intriguing, partly because he was so gorgeous, and also because Tiara and her sparkle could make even the most depressed individuals feel better about themselves. It was not until Lowe voted off Desiree and then Ashlee that his season took a downward turn. Thus, it seemed that now with Desiree and her dramatic brother at the helm, this season would be fun to watch. After meeting the twenty five guys, though, it is hard to be positive. All in all, hopefully Des will find what she is searching for, but she is going to have to do a lot of weeding.
Ranked from worst to decent, the following list will examine the “contestants.”
The Worst of the Worst
1. Jonathan- The guy who invited Des to his fantasy suit. No matter how many times she told him that she was “not that kind of girl,” he repeatedly tried to lure her into his lair. He was way creepy.
2. Larry- The doctor who had a rough entrance when his plan of dancing with Des failed. Then, he made the situation even more awkward by continually apologizing for it and continually taking his glasses on and off and on and off.
3. Diogo- The guy who arrived as a knight in shining armor and was clunking about all evening in his metal suit.
4. Kasey- The guy obsessed with hashtags. Not #marriagematerial.
5. Nick- The magician. Enough said.
Still Pretty Bad
6. James- A guy who talked about loyalty so intensely and admitted he will probably get fat.
7. Mike- The dental student. At least he had nice teeth.
8. Will- The guy who nicknamed Des with a name from Greek mythology. And to make matters worse, he high-fived her. Geek? Geek.
9. Michael- The guy who awkwardly was fondling the fountain to find a penny.
10. Micah- The guy with the homemade, ugly suit. He was cute though!
Welcome to Snoozeville, USA
11. Nick- The guy with the cheesy poem.
12. Mikey- The guy from Chicago, who should have been born in New York.
13. Bryden- The military guy with a weird hairline.
14. Brian- The guy who supposedly does the suit thing too much at home.
15. Dan- Yawnnn. Boring. Who was he again?
At least They Tried
16. Robert- The guy who invented swinging signs and threw off his tie when he met Des.
17. Drew- A guy who was not really memorable and slightly feminine.
18. Juan Pablo. Foreign and sexy, but seemed more interested in playing soccer than Des.
19. Ben- The guy with the son, who was not married before, but just decided to have a child with his best friend. That sounds fishy.
20. Brad- The guy who made her snap a wishbone.
21. Zak- The guy who kept taking his clothes off.
22. Zach- The guy who wore chucks and looked very uncomfortable in his suit.
23. Brandon- The guy with the motorcycle that already thinks he met his future wife.
24. Brooks- The guy who had the long hair that looked kind of dirty and has a strange resemblance to Shaggy from Scooby Doo.
25. Chris- The guy who made it look like he was going to prematurely propose to Des, but then actually just tied his shoe.