Dating the Representative can turn into a reality show if one is not extremely careful. So many people have mastered the ability to create illusions of themselves as to present a more interesting and established self image. They introduce the Representative to prospective mates with the intention of winning a person’s heart, bank account, or whatever else they may desire.
Most call the make believe person The Representative. He or she is the perfect mate specifically made for the prospective love interest one has selected to win over. He or she can evolve into everything that one desires but only temporarily because the Representative does not really exist. A person utilizes gathered information such as ones first impression, personal and professional experiences, any information given during conversations to assess who and what they need to do and say to spark the interest of the prospective mate. The Representative is a liar, and cannot be trusted. He or she will never introduce prospective mates to the Real Self, for various reasons. The reasons are limitless, but may include, insecurities, hidden agendas, lack of long term plans, personal gains such as sex and fiances, and mental issues.
How do you know if you are dating the Representative? Time will reveal the truth. You see, the Representative will appear almost perfect in the beginning of relationships, over time layers will peel and his or her truth will eventually emerge. The key is to not ignore the signs. Most ignore the random signs because they fall in love with the illusion. The illusion fits present and future plans and desires. They unintentionally justify the signs in order to remain in the perfect relationship not realizing that they are assisting the Representative with maintaining his or her picture perfect fake image.
You may ask, what are the signs? They are but not limited too; inconsistencies, white lies, unexplained disappearing acts, lack of ability to stand accountable, text message relationships, excuses for lack of interest, boundary busters, asking for money, contradictory behavior, long list of negative relationships, mistreatment of others, needy, insecurities and more importantly one should trust his or her gut feeling.
How does one protect his or herself from the Representative? One way is by limiting the information one provides to a love interest during the initial stages of a relationship. Keep the conversations light, so to protect yourself from the Master Manipulator. Secondly, setting healthy boundaries and sticking to those boundaries is extremely important. The Representative does not respect boundaries because he or she has his own agenda. Lastly, do not allow desperation to cloud your judgment. Trust what you see! Pace yourself, possess a strong sense of self, do not settle, know exactly what you want and what you expect, and stop searching for the perfect mate, he or she does not exist!