You are surfing the newsfeed on Facebook, when all of a sudden your eye is caught by a message that just scrolled past you. What did that message say? You scroll back and discover that some other person is chatting about an event they say they attended with your partner? “Really?”- you say to yourself as you read the words again. How can your love survive this social network that is full of stalking, hating, cheating and just plain social discord?
You met your partner online and your relationship is going well, when you come across this nonsense. You almost choke on your morning coffee as you scroll back to what you just saw. You know this isn’t true. Could it be an attempt by someone else to destroy your relationship, so that they might have a chance? You seem to remember your partner was with you on that day, so just what is this all about?
It may be a form of social sabotage.Someone who doesn’t want your relationship to be happy or to last. Or, someone that wishes to date your partner and uses outright lies to destroy your relationship so they might have a chance. Dr. Phil calls this “Leveling”,
“People who feel inadequate will sometimes try to “level” those who have what they want. Your success could pose a threat and cause them to sabotage you in any way they can in order to bring you down to their level.”
Can love survive Facebook and your relationship continue? Yes, if you know how to curb sabotage before it destroys the love you have for one another. That doesn’t mean be suspicious or feel like you have to stalk your partner, but be aware that there are people out there who will wreak havoc in your relationship just for a laugh. Instead of fighting over this post, talk about it with your partner and work out a plan together to block this person from viewing your page or contacting either of you in any way.
Make it clear to them that you know this is an attempt to hurt you or your relationship and that you will not stand for it. Report them to Facebook or to the authorities if this type of behavior continues. Do not fall to their level by responding directly to the post denying the statement or arguing with them in any way. The relationships that survive are those where both partners are very committed to their relationship and work together to solve any differences or problems, including those of Facebook sabotage.
(It is not this article’s intent to discourage anyone from using this social network or to harm or defame Facebook in any manner.)