The Green Team: Teen Trillionaires
Written by Art Baltazar & Franco
Art by Ig Guara
Colors by Wil Quintal
With a title like The Green Team: Teen Trillionaires I really wasn’t expecting much from DC Comics latest first issue and that it is what it delivered, in spades.
In the first issue of The Green Team teenage Prince Mohammed “Mo” Qautanii defies his father’s wishes and goes to America where he meets teenage tech genius/adventure/world saving crusader (and fellow trillionaire) Commodore Murphy at an underground tech expo which Murphy has organized. After meeting Murphy and his band of fellow teenage trillionaires the whole group is attacked by a band of vindictive 99 percenters in white ghost hoods bent on killing Murphy and his band of well meaning if self absorbed rich kids. In order to save the day Commodore Murphy uses a piece of untested technology which becomes a magic metal suit which increases his strength and allows him to either fly or jump real high, I’m not sure which yet.
Sound familiar? Well it should because this comic is nothing more than Iron Man unartfully stolen and repackage by writers Art Baltazar and Franco in an attempt to sell it to the children of the digital generation. Poor and ill-conceived tech jokes abound in this book, a car which runs on internet hits (yeah that’s a stupid idea in of itself, but not nearly as stupid as the punch line of the joke when one of the teen trillionaires tells the vapid Hollywood starlet of their group that if she just keeps getting into accidents around the paparazzi she won’t ever have to pay for gas again.) Later in the comic the bad guys find the secret expo because MO has been tweeting photos and failed to turn off the locator on his iPhone.
The writers of this comic seem to be so intent upon proving to the audience that they know how the great internet machine works that they have given absolutely no thought to whether their story is relevant or their jokes are funny. This comic is pandering of the worse kind because while they seem willing to spend 22 pages doing nothing but pandering they are failing at it.
Worse yet this comic is simply boring, I came out of it not liking the characters, the setting, the plot, the art or the colors. In addition they overlook obvious areas of conflict between the characters, after all four pages are given over to the story of the magic internet car and two of Murphy’s companions (both of whom we learn draw their wealth from oil production) don’t bat an eyelash when Murphy starts talking about investing in the car. I was expecting that at this point we might actually see the characters behave like real people, I would certainly be pissed if my best friend was trying to take away all my money, instead we get a whispered conversation about the silly disk suit thing.
If so much work didn’t go into making comic books, from the writing to the art and finally to the marketing I would think this comic was written as a joke by the guys in the writer’s room.
It is not even enough for me to say that you should save your money, I feel that I must give you official warning!!! This comic will literally make you stupider!! I’m not kidding, spend 10 minutes reading anything ever written rather than this comic and I guarantee you will be more intelligent than if you had read this comic.