Have you ever been in a relationship so long you felt as if you were just roommates? That the excitement, nervousness, and passion has just faded away as the years went by? It happens to the best of us and before you know it all you want is to feel the butterflies again. When you form a new relationship, or even just begin flirting with someone, you feel great. You feel elated, energetic and hopeful. You ignore all the negative qualities in that person; the frustrating games of not calling, emailing or texting, the random disappearing acts and the obnoxious comments that make you only want them more even though you have no clue why. You begin to think that maybe with this new person it will be different….maybe the passion won’t fade…and maybe the romance won’t dissipate. But the truth is that everything that begins new and exciting eventually becomes old and routine. Similar to a cell phone that eventually becomes the old version when a million new updated phones are released the week after you bought yours; that guy who seems so exciting and fun will eventually become routine and the excitement will fade away. So how do you get the butterflies back in your routine romance?
Plan a date night (Note to men do not only plan a date night to get laid! It’s about romance NOT sex). Having your partner plan out a romantic evening is more than just about the actual date itself. It shows your partner that you are willing to put the effort in, that you thought about them for more than just a fleeting moment. Similar to what you did when you were first dating and you were trying to win this person over…sometimes you have to go all out in order to get your love life back on track. For women, romance, desire and sex are all linked. If she doesn’t feel wooed you won’t be getting laid tonight!
Have separate nights out. This doesn’t mean texting your partner throughout the night to constantly see what she/he is up to. Go out and do your own things and do not communicate at ALL till you go home. This will be slightly like when you were first dating and went days without seeing each other. Time apart makes does make your heart grow fonder and you may actually be able to miss your partner which makes going home even more fun!
Stop being needy! Whether you’re constantly asking for sex, attention, entertainment, etc….you’re only making things worse. It’s like when you were in kindergarden…you want to be friends with the aloof independent kid, not the one begging to be your bestie. Show your partner that you can still think for yourself and do things on your own and it will only make you more desirable.
Kiss each other often. Remember when you were first dating and you always chewed winterfresh gum so you would be ready when the time arose? Well same goes now. Nobody wants to make out with someone who just downed a bucket of coffee so remember that if you want your partner to kiss you, be the person he or she would want to kiss! Kissing is linked to affection, love, romance and serotonin so make sure you’re ready for the spontaneous make-out session and your love stands a much better chance at maintaining it’s heat.
It’s hard to keep the butterflies fluttering and the passion burning, but you do what you can to keep things going! Remember that although that new flirtation that gets your heart racing seems good now, it’s only going to smolder out eventually. Everything new becomes old and it’s your job to keep your relationship alive!