Admit it: When Mother’s Day rolled around, the first thing that popped into your mind was, “Who better to exemplify a new generation of mothers than Farrah Abraham, star of MTV’s reality series “Teen Mom” and now the star of her own self-made, self-denied, then self-admitted sex tape video? And who better to represent young mothers on Mother’s Day than the newly minted millionaire, mother of one, and now the holder of the record for the most watched sex tape video on its release date?” Well, alright, these things were probably the furthest things from most people’s minds when TMZ broke the news on May 12 that the star of “Backdoor Teenage Mom” was spotted purchasing a home pregnancy test, sparking speculation that she might be pregnant again and that the father might be porn star James Deen.
TMZ posted the story — with photo — of the young Ms. Abraham at a local pharmacy. Among her purchases was a home pregnancy test.
This, of course, got tongues to wagging, noting that the gun for hire, one James Deen, that she paid to have sex with her for her “personal use” sex tape might not have given her a sexually transmitted disease, but he just might have given her a gift that takes roughly nine months to develop.
Sources told TMZ that Abraham missed her monthly cycle and promptly went berserk, worried, as TMZ put it, that she might be “growing a little porn spawn.” They said she was so concerned that James Deen, porn pro for hire, had gotten her pregnant, she rushed out and bought a home pregnancy test. The sources also said that Deen had been the only guy she had had sex with in over a year and that while videotaping the sex tape, neither were protected. And to top it off, Farrah Abraham was not using birth control at the time.
Which is why she might have had good reason to worry…
But TMZ thinks the speculation is all for naught, that the “Teen Mom” and “Backdoor Teenage Mom” star doesn’t have much to worry about. They’re pretty sure she can’t get pregnant “THAT” way (read: The title of the sex tape says it all) and Deen was more of an external finisher than an inside man.
Still, the last few days have been a bit burdensome for the teenage mom. Just the other day, she was detained at the airport after getting into an altercation with a baggage check lady over a duffel bag.
But pregnant again? That would put a bit of a dampener to her ambitions. She recently noted she wanted to do a spread for Playboy and get into acting. Of course, if she were pregnant, she could still do other things she says she would like to pursue: Writing more books, create an exercise video, do more songwriting.
Here’s the thing: If you haven’t heard Farrah Abraham sing, then you should count yourself lucky indeed. And to save the world from a psychologically damaging earpocalypse, you should add your prayers to hers in hoping that that home pregnancy test doesn’t show positive for a James Deen Jr.
(Of course, it does lend itself to another “Teen Mom” spinoff — something like “Teen Mom Again” or “Porn Star Mom” or even “Backdoor Teenage Mom: An Unplanned Series.”)
Besides, what would she say to the kid? “You won’t believe this, but your father and I crashed a porn site’s servers making you.” Or would she go with: “Oh, your father? Well, he’s actually a well known porn star that I kinda lost track of after I hired him to help mommy make a sex tape where I kept all the rights — which is how mommy got rich. Now, who wants to ride in the Lamborghini?”