-This is a disclaimer acknowledging that every Friday from here on out I will provide to you a weeks worth of Horror movies on the rental and VOD circuit. Some of these movies are so bad they will never see the light of day on the main screen but some are hidden gems unknown to the general mainstream moviegoers. I feel it its my duty to make sure you don’t miss out on any future cult classics so I bring to you my weekly installment of Horror Movies Uncut. The thoughts and opinions on these reviews are clearly my own and should be shared by many!
BEST PICK OF THE WEEK
LORD OF DARKNESS-
Usually i’m not big on cannibal movies because normally the explanation of why they are cannibals is suspect. The thought of this scenario dating back from medieval times was pretty intriguing and the landscape of Scotland was great. In a cannibals meets Jack the Ripper meets freestyle walkers (yes I just said that) is what we have her in LOD. Young women are being abducted by a sadistic family of cannibals hiding not one but two secrets. Its actually a pretty good film but gets lost towards the end. For this week this is the top selection because lets just say it’s some slim pickings but gore hounds should watch this for sure. 3/5
THE REST OF THE FILMS
When this came out in theaters I wanted nothing to do it it. I’m glad I made that choice because even though someone as highly profiled as Halle Berry is in it, it was way too unbelievable. The sad part is the concept was great. A 911 dispatcher dealing with a serial killer. My main issue with the film is there is no way this should be set in Los Angeles. I’m sorry I lived there and you just can’t abduct a child in the middle of the day and get away with it. The killer in the film was so sloppy and pathetic he puts a bad light on any true men of evil. The idea of him trying to recreate his dead sister was really the only part I enjoyed of the film. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a sequel to this but I doubt Berry will sign on. She did a decent job in the film but the overall execution of the production rubbed me the wrong way. It is the popular pick but not mine. 2/5
In a week filled with made for TV movies Dead Souls is a film that premiered on Chiller TV and for a Chiller product it wasn’t too bad. The story involves a family that has found a connection between Jesus and the Egyptian God Osiris and a pagan ritual that would cleanse their souls. The issue is the ritual backfired and the father kills his family to stop a curse that could plague us all. One son was not killed and was taken in by his deranged Aunt. On his 18th birthday he comes to find out he has inherited his family’s property. After finding a young lady camping out at the house strange things begin to happen. There are tons of films to compare this too and while it’s not great it is watchable. If Chiller keeps this up I may have to start watching that network again. 2/5
Make no mistake about it this film is not a horror movie. I’m reviewing it because it’s a great mind trip that involves a familiar love tell. As Sean at Family Video proclaims “I hate Kirsten Dunst face!” many would agree with him but this is the type of role she was made for. The film is a great watch really for the visual aspect more than anything. The movie involves a word of two different gravities. In elitist fashion the people at the top feel they are more superior than those blow. To the point where any contact with each other results in death. The idea and concept of the film is great and the execution works in this upside down world. The main role opposite of Dunst is played by Jim Sturgess and he does a great of showing his passion to be reunited with the women he loves that lives above him. This is a great pick for fans of all movies so check it out if you want to truly see something different. 3/5
Mental warfare is the new technology of death in this film made by the guys who gave us Wolf Creek and Red Hill. The movie follows a group of soldiers that have been told to infiltrate a lab and kill the test subjects. We come to find out these test subjects have the ability to alter images in the heads of enemies which makes them turn on each other. Sounds like a few comics I used to read. The main soldier feels like he has reunited with his loved one and fights to keep her safe. After losing some of his troops he starts to question his sanity and why he is even there in the first place. This could have easily been my pick of the week if not for moments when this movie seemed to drag. Its always nice to see something a little different and I think Crawlspace can be a pleasant surprise. 3/5
Upon viewing this I kept thinking to myself please do be a horrible reincarnation of Jeepers Creepers. While it wasn’t by any means, that did not make up for this film created for Syfy network. The movie is about an old gold mine that has been holding a curse. Somehow this curse is disrupted when some drunks go looking for old gold. What is unleashed is a creature that eats and takes the body parts of anyone who steals it’s gold. Of course some local kids use this spot for a hangout and them and the people of the surrounding town start disappearing one by one with a pathetic panic attacking cop there to save the day. Once you see this creature more than likely you will want to turn it off, to bad I didn’t. 1/5
Like I always say werewolf movies are hard to do. Another Syfy original here in Battle Dogs. Follows a woman just back from studying a type of wolf in Canada. She has been bitten and turns at JFK when she arrives. She starts attacking everyone and infecting them which too causes them to turn. Soon the airport is quarantined. After a couple of slip ups by the military The creatures are released on Manhattan with nothing left to do but nuke em. Tons of familiar faces in this movie but the CGI wolves of course hurt the film tremendously. Still it does show that Syfy Is getting better with their films but don’t expect this to be on anyone’s must have list anytime soon. 2/5
Lord of Darkness
This weeks top pick is the cannibal film Lord of Darkness. While it had a few weird parts overall it was a solid film and gets a 3 star rating from me.
The Call did well in theaters but this critic see the film as a lost. Its a great concept but just a little too far fetched to be believable. It gets a 2 star rating from me.
The Chiller TV film was not as good as most hoped. The idea was stale and even though the acting wasn’t bad the film really went nowhere it gets 2 star rating from me.
Great fantasy film here. One of the most intense visual films I have seen in a while. It’s a classic romance tale but worth the effort to watch. Pick this one up for something different. 3 star rating!
This could have been the pick of the week. It dragged way too much in the end and really went nowhere. I liked the mental warfare part of the film but it ended badly. It still gets a 3 star rating from me.
Another syfy film. Really was the worst of the bunch. Funny to see the young Belushi in the film but this one was hard to watch. It gets a 1 star rating from me.
An all star cast could’t keep this werewolf movie from failing. The CGI really hurt the film but its hard to have a film located in a place like NYC with out the big budget. Still gets a 2 star rating from me.