It seems as though nothing brings out the best in Chris Wallace quite like Treasury Secretary Jack Lew dishing out the latest edition of reality-according-to-the-White-House. (I’m astonished the Obama administration is even conceding there is such a thing as the IRS.)
“Seriously, doesn’t Lew have anything better to do? It’s Sunday. Go find Jesus.” I told my television. The television declined to respond (insolent piece of technology).
(Of course, wikipedia informed me that he is Jewish. So my remark didn’t make any sense in retrospect, but what else is new.)
Moreover, crazy though it may sound, the Benghazi Bugaboo was only a pseudo-scandal.
Then again, it wasn’t a real terrorist attack long before it wasn’t a real scandal. (No wonder there wasn’t a real investigation. It all makes sense now.)
And the president’s latest pseudo-solution for the country’s ills is to raise the minimum wage. (Not like the real antidote might be pro-growth economic policies that create better jobs – rather than telling everybody to make like good little helots who will be a billion times better off once they’re stuck in the same job making nine bucks an hour instead of $7.25.)
Mark Levin was right all along. It really is “Obama in Wonderland.”
In fact, it’s almost as surreal as the president taking credit for America’s unfolding energy revolution (in between efforts to sabotage it). Granted, Jesus did that neat trick when it came to making wine, but that can’t hold a candle to Good King Barry’s unrivaled ability to turn water into ice on a cold winter’s day.
And don’t think any of this will distract us from comprehensive immigration reform. We learned our lesson this spring.
It’s hard to put into words the cornucopia of incredulity that accompanied Marco Rubio’s protestations that the Gang of Eight’s legislative brainchild truly did “mandate” some kind of fence-like-construction, it just didn’t matter exactly where said “fence” was built.
I’ve never been accused of being a genius, but I thought the whole point of “strategic fencing” was that it actually matters where you build the thing. (That’s why it’s called strategic.)
And quite a few of us are none too pleased with House Republicans’ passionate embrace of the Senate’s legalization-first-framework. So when people start photoshopping the scarlet letter on Paul Ryan’s visage don’t get confused.
The “A” isn’t for “Awesome.”
This edition of Hump Day Humor includes Bill Bennett with Jonah Goldberg, Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, Dennis Miller, and Laura Ingraham with Congressman Steve Stockman – a small sampling of quips, non sequiturs, sarcastic commentary, and anything else that might put a smile on your face.
Bill Bennett’s Morning in America 07/31/13 on Philadelphia’s 990 AM WNTP
Speaking with Jonah Goldberg regarding the Anthony Weiner/NYC Mayoral race saga
Goldberg: I love, love – like a new puppy – the idea that the Clinton’s are “livid” at comparisons between them and Anthony Weiner. I mean that is – we need a new Yiddish word for what that is – cause that is too awesome.
Bill: It’s beyond chutzpah.
Mark Levin Show 07/30/13 on Philadelphia’s 106.9 FM WWIQ
Regarding news that congressman and congressional staff may shoulder additional healthcare expenses of as much as $5,000 for individuals and $11,000 for families under ObamaCare
Mark: May I ask you a question folks? Has it occurred to these blithering idiots that they’re blithering idiots? Ladies and gentlemen, they voted for this law – or at least some of them did. Some of the staffers on Capitol Hill wrote this law. And they wrote it in such a way as to screw themselves. I don’t know about you but I’m glad that they screwed themselves.
Rush Limbaugh Show 07/26/13 on Philadelphia’s 106.9 FM WWIQ
Regarding Limbaugh’s recent health scare with his cat Punkin
Rush: I just love this little cat – and this little cat – we’ve got these three giant sheepdogs, and they’re just intrigued as they can be with this little peanut animal. They don’t know what it is. But they know it’s some kind of an animal. And Punkin doesn’t care. She thinks they’re idiots. Brutish, dirty, filthy idiots. You can just see it in her face.
Dennis Miller Show 07/26/13 on Lehigh Valley’s 1100 AM WGPA
Regarding the recent vandalizing of the Lincoln Memorial
Dennis: It’ll show you the two sides of humanity. There’s somebody who can take a raw hunk of stone and a mallet and a sharp thing and chisel that. And then there’s somebody who can just throw paint at it. And you know which way we’re trending. Do you think what’s right around the corner is work like the Lincoln Memorial? Or do you think what’s around the corner is a balloon filled with paint flying at the Lincoln Memorial?
Laura Ingraham Show 07/25/13 on Philadelphia’s 1180 AM WFYL
Speaking with Congressman Steve Stockman regarding Congressman Frank Wolf’s drive for a special committee to probe into events surrounding the Benghazi terrorist attack under H.R. 36
Stockman: We’re fighting the leadership on this and doing a discharge petition. And my colleagues said, “Stockman, a discharge petition.” He said “they’ll never find your body.”
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