Well Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
A betting man would wager more scuttlebutt about the Obama administration could come to light, but that’s a bit like predicting that if you try really hard you just might find sand in the desert.
So if reporters let these timeless turpitudes slide with a simple boys-will-be-boys-shoulder-shrug don’t come back and petition Agrabah to retroactively reclassify the magic carpet ride as a kidnapping.
It’s still early yet, but it looks like the frontrunner for scandal-ridden Sin Summer’s gold medal is America’s plucky attorney general.
In fact, Holder’s sure to become a runaway favorite if (while investigating himself) he can repeat his May 15th House committee performance – which channeled the kind of absurdity one might normally encounter in the confines of a hallucinogen-induced drug daze.
Coming straight on the heels of revelations about the DOJ’s latest antics, why wouldn’t somebody have staggered the asperity towards independent oversight? The attorney general couldn’t give a bit more time before objecting to shameful, inappropriate conduct?
Once a man gives a thumbs-up to sifting through a reporter’s personal e-mail he might as well spend his days being indignant because he thinks the moon is chasing the sun across the sky.
Truthfully, as a kid I’d trot out this same species of outrage whenever I got caught lying in CCD class. (Sister Jean branded it “sin-dignation.”)
By the by, that’s where I got the sarcasm. I didn’t catch it from following politicos. The nuns taught me. (They’re even worse without the rulers.)
And all this keeps smoldering as details about the Senate’s plan for comprehensive immigration reform finally come out of the shadows.
While analyzing the GOP’s future electoral prospects with Laura Ingraham on May 20th, the Daily Caller’s Tucker Carlson concluded the Republican Party was in the process of trying to airmail itself off a cliff.
Florida Senator Marco Rubio disagreed in an interview with Mike Gallagher on May 23rd, arguing if conservatives couldn’t successfully make their case to voters they’ll get airmailed off a cliff anyway.
(Neither notion seems mutually exclusive.)
With scandals swirling and an immigration battle waiting in the wings, this certainly isn’t a season that calls for temerity. So let’s try havoc and let slip the dogs of lore!
This edition of Hump Day Humor includes Dennis Miller, Laura Ingraham with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, Bill Bennett with The Washington Examiner’s Byron York, Mark Levin, and Hugh Hewitt with Mark Steyn – a small sampling of quips, non sequiturs, sarcastic commentary, and anything else that might put a smile on your face.
Dennis Miller Show 05/29/13 on Lehigh Valley’s 1100 AM WGPA
Regarding Eric Holder’s involvement in recent scandals with a caller (Carl in New Hampshire)
Caller: Hey Dennis, it’s gonna be fun to watch. You know, I wonder if Obama has invited Eric Holder out fishing yet? Or hey, there’s a new boat I’d like ya’ to check out because we know how it works on the other side of the fence.
Dennis: I don’t know. I have a feeling though Carl that Holder might know so much that it’s hard to deal with him. You know what I mean? It’s like he – not only does he know where the bodies are buried, I think he did some of the digging…
(Correction: this humor article initially identified Dennis Miller as airing on 106.9 FM and has been updated as of 9:22PM)
Laura Ingraham Show 05/28/13 on Philadelphia’s 1180 AM WFYL
Speaking with Newt Gingrich regarding immigration reform
Gingrich: I’ve always thought that it would be better to pass five or six bills rather than one gigantic bill. And I think that’s where I think Chairman Goodlatte was at – at least a few months ago because I don’t think anybody understands if you start getting into these massive bills.
Laura: One thousand pages plus now Newt. That just came out over the weekend. A thousand one hundred something pages.
Gingrich: And I just think that that’s a really bad way to legislate.
Laura: It’s not conservative. I mean, it is a conservative arguing for a thousand page bill with the word comprehensive in it that is championed by Barack Obama, Janet Napolitano, Dick Durbin, Chuck Schumer, and Bob Menendez. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I mean, red flags, flares, roman candles should be going off, I’m sorry.
Bill Bennett’s Morning in America 05/27/13 on Philadelphia’s 990 AM WNTP
Speaking with the Washington Examiner’s Byron York regarding numerous IRS visits to the White House
York: I mean you could make the argument, ‘well as we know the IRS is going to be a huge part of ObamaCare.’ So maybe there were meetings for that – but I mean not the extent of meetings that they had, which was just –
Bill: And there’s only so many days you can use the Easter Egg Roll as an excuse.
Mark Levin Show 05/24/13 on Philadelphia’s 106.9 FM WWIQ
Mark: ‘Mark you’re preaching doom and gloom.’ I’m preaching reality. I’m preaching fact. It is time we stop acting like ostratiches here and pull our heads out of the dirt and pay attention to what people are doing to us. Now don’t worry, in the third hour I was thinking of talking about my special meatball recipe…
Hugh Hewitt Show 05/23/13 on Philadelphia’s 990 AM WNTP
Speaking with Mark Steyn regarding the press & the IRS scandal
Hugh: …The White House Counsel was briefed on the IRS scandal, says that she told the chief of staff, and they didn’t tell the president. Do you find that…believable. Do you find it believable, Mark Steyn?
Steyn: No, I don’t find that believable, but I think, and essentially the press are asking us to believe that over on one side of the room is a figure called the president of the United States, and over on the other side of the room is this dark, sinister, shadowy entity called the government of the United States. And they have absolutely nothing to do with each other, that the president is as out of it as late period Ottoman sultans of the 1870s onward. This is completely ridiculous, but again, again, until Obama demonstrated his contempt for them by tapping their own phones, the press had no interest in actually laughing out loud at that narrative.
To be fair, their phones weren’t actually tapped – and it’s sad because that’s the best way to spin things for Eric Holder…
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