Despite oodles of public protest, VH1’s “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta” series has skyrocketed in popularity – likely due to the cast members’ non-stop wisecracks. Giving heavy credence to the oversaturated term “guilty pleasure”, this reality show is full of personalities so colorul, it’s hard not to believe that this isn’t a scripted soap. But just when we decide to watch something a little more enlightening, one of these guys says something to keep us from changing the channel…
1- “[I need to be]… a mix between Fergie and Jesus”
You can thank the show’s resident spitfire, K. Michelle for this little morsel. During the season’s premiere, the curvy star spouts literally dozens of weird one-liners like this one made during a studio session.
2- “These b*tches are microwaveable b*tches!”
This season we were introduced to Traci Steele, 107.9 FM’s lone female DJ. And she didn’t really exactly breeze in on a whisper. Indeed, she earned her stripes for popping this one-liner in accusing her ex, Drew of having multiple women around their young son.
3- “She dohn noo lem mee beh len mee she dah bah that…”
Don’t worry if you can’t understand this sentence. It’s just Mimi imitating her arch nemisis, Joseline Hernandez. Her spot-on imitation is hilarious. But we don’t know what’s more disturbing: the impersonation itself – or the fact that she’s had enough opportunities to master Joseline’s quirky dialect.
4- “Hey, maid…”
Proof that she and Joseline have probably seen way too much of each other is in this sassy greeting that Joseline offers her upon waltzing unannounced into Stevie’s house. This sets off the season’s first big blowout. But somehow, the women’s fiery on-screen exchanges are a little too familiar. It’s become painfully obvious that these two have gotten uncomfortably comfortable with one another.
5- “I have a broke hot pocket.”
Add this culinary reference to K. Michelle’s lady parts to her ongoing list of well-placed punchlines. In yet another heart-to-heart with her BFF Mimi, she reveals that she’s having trouble getting her “hot pocket” back in working order after another failed romance. Microwaved pastry sandwiches will never taste the same.
6- “Good. What I do with my money, is what I do with my money.”
Traci Steele ties with K. Michelle for the show’s snappiest comebacks. When Drew presses her about popping up at his spot unannounced (even to hand over investment monies), he firmly tells her that what he does on his own time, is what he does on his own time – to which she promptly pumped out this precious reply. To make matters worse, she tears up the check as she walks away. The scene just goes downhill from there.
7- “No. No, no, no, no, no. (No, no.)”
In one of the funniest moments of episode 2, Benzino refuses to let his buddy Stevie crash at his place overnight. He is, in fact so emphatic about it that he literally says no, seven times. But does he have a point? Stevie’s entire life appears to revolve around his sexuality. Outside of his little serenade to Mimi in season 1, he very rarely showcases other talents. We see him leaving Benzino’s house with a guitar strapped to his back — and find ourselves wondering whether the three minutes of screen time he spent obsessing about his women could have been swapped with footage of him actually doing something musical.
Honorable Mention: “I’m around in the kingdom. And I’m looking down over everything, and all the peasants and all the royal bloods. But the queen is always on point…”
Trying to keep up with all the crazy that spews from Momma Dee’s mouth is a lesson in futility. She seems to have an obsession with kingdoms, palaces, and all things, Scrappy. Oh, Momma Dee…