Anytime you’re out, you have two choices for how you can meet someone new, hope someone approaches you or to seize an opening and start a conversation. At any moment the girl of your dreams could be one conversation away from being yours. Knowing how to take advantage of an opening and hold stimulating conversations will greatly increase your chances of meeting her. The five qualities of a captivating conversation are:
- Create new ways to say the things everyone has heard before
- Use personal experiences to answer or prompt questions
- Leave some things to the imagination
- Vary the tone of your voice to give your words stronger emotion
- Lead the conversation through open-ended questions and answers
Questions asked in initial interactions are predictable; your name, where you live/are from, work, hobbies, and why you’re out. Every initial conversation is a chance to practice the five rules. When asked your name, make it a game and have her guess as you give clues. Tell a story about where you are from or where you want to live. Think of ways to make common answers unique. Come up with an interesting way to describe your job or discuss an obscure one you wish you had instead. Later, when she’s intrigued, you can become more serious about your passions and interests.
Prepare for the initial conversation by writing and practicing your own answers to common questions. Focus on creating answers that can leave the other person with a good impression and at an emotional highpoint. As you practice you will become more natural, better able to improvise, and eventually learn how to predict and steer the course of a conversation. Keep in mind that answering questions is not the objective of a conversation. You only ask and answer questions to keep a conversation going. Focus on how you can answer questions, stimulate and escalate the interaction, in order to lead to more than just the initial conversation.
Benjamin Ritter, MBA, MPH, Author of The Essentials and co-founder of Suave Lover International, is a freelance writer and a private relationship-and-social-dynamics coach in the areas of public health, fitness, and social dynamics, a writer and editor for Ask Men.com, and the interpersonal relationships columnist for usedview.com. His passion lies in guiding and providing tools to men for overall self-improvement.
If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe for future updates at the top of the page, and share it with your friends using the social media links on this page. Also, please feel free to directly contact me with any comments or questions at RitterBenjamin@gmail.com and visit Suave Lover International for coaching services. For more information go to Benjamin-Ritter.com
*Edited by Rachel Ritter