“If I had a million dollars, Well, I’d buy you a monkey… Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?” crooned the band Barenaked Ladies in concert last summer at West Valley’s USANA Amphitheater. But whether or not you have always wanted a monkey, if you live here in Utah that will likely have to remain a dream. They are illegal, and not only that, if someone is selling one, they probably don’t even have the darling little primate to sell.
Yes, we have no bananas. Or monkeys.
If you live in Utah, you can have sugar gliders which act a bit like monkeys. You can have an Affenpinscher “monkey dog” like 2013 Westminster Best in Show winner Banana Joe.(As a matter of fact, silly cuddlebug, Cheeto in nearby Denver, Colorado who is an Affenpinscher mix but looks very much like a purebred “monkey dog!”) You can even go down to the Great Salt Lake with a jar and catch your very own, wild version of the iconic Sea Monkeys that have festooned comic books for years. (Yep, sorry to spoil the illusion. Sea Monkeys are, and always have been, a type brine shrimp.) But it is illegal to own a primate as a pet within the state of Utah. What animals might that cover?
According to Utah’s legal code regarding the Collection, Importation, Transportation, and Possession of Animals,
Perhaps except for zoos (like Hogle Zoo) or universities that do medical testing (like the University of Utah), it is illegal to own primates such as:
- Dwarf and mouse lemurs
- Indri and sifakas
- Aye aye
- Bush babies, pottos and lorises
- New World monkeys, (All species)
- Marmosets and tamarins
- Old-world monkeys, (All species) which includes baboons and macaques
- Great apes (All species) , which include gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans
- Lesser apes (Siamang and gibbons, All species)
- All species and subspecies of primates and their parts, not listed
Also prohibited are a few animals that are often confused with primates. They they have nimble monkey-like fingers, they are not related. Coatis, Kinkajou, Northern Raccoon, Ringtails, Civets, genets and related forms, are also prohibited for collection, importation and possession in Utah.
Monkey business on KSL and Craigslist
It’s not hard to find a primate for sale in Utah, or at least, it’s not hard to find an ad for one. The truth is that the monkeys offered are no more than a scam to separate would-be primate parents from their money, and the animals don’t even exist. This is especially true on local free classified sites like KSL.com Classifieds and Craigslist. Many of these ads are easy to spoke as frauds because of their incorrect spelling or utter nonsense.
Lovely Capuchin Monkeys
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
My husband and I are giving our Cute baby Capuchin Monkey For Free Adoption to any pet loving and caring family no matter where ever they might be. Our Babies Monkeys are house raised babies Capuchin monkeys who is diaper trained, leash trained , wears clothes and likes to lay around, watch TV and take snaps with you.
Seller Contact Info
[Phone number removed by Examiner columnist]
(They like to wear clothes?)
Marmoset Monkeys For Adoption Text this number [Phone number removed by Examiner columnist]
salt lake city, UT 84111
Marmoset Monkeys . Pure Bred, home raised, Hypoallergenic, non-shedding; good with kids. Expected to be About some pounds. Shots and de-wormer included. They are Beautiful, healthy well-socialized, home raised Marmoset Monkeys .
Seller Contact Info
Home [(different number than before)Phone number removed by Examiner columnist]
There is very little chance for any species of monkey to not be “purebred” as they do not have breeds, just species. There are more than 260 species of Monkeys found in the world today, not including apes. All monkeys shed and therefore are not “hypoallergenic.” In addition, as monkeys are extremely high maintenance, and can see children as competition, very few individuals would be considered “good with kids.” (Also… “some” pounds?!) But all this is just the sort of nonsense typical of monkey scams. Often information is simply taken from puppy ads with tidbits such as “adorable runt of the litter” (Monkeys do not have litters.). The next up (seen on adsdia.co.uk not KSL.com) is so bad, it’s funny.
Cute Male and Female Capuchin Monkeys Adoption welsh corgi Monkeys For Adoption
I have two beautiful Monkeys , the Monkeys are current on their vaccinations and veterinary comes with all necessary documents. They are pure welsh corgi Monkeys Champion line, which agrees with the kids and other pets. They are seeking approval to any lovely home. Return to us for infos.
In this gem that is so bad it is hilarious, these “Welsh Corgi” monkeys are claimed to be “AKC registered”… now how did they manage that?
Adorable White Face Baby Capuchin Monkeys…
salt lake, UT 84111
Sweet and lovely baby capuchin monkeys for sale to a loving home this X-mas for free adoption We are actually in need for a shelter to our baby Capuchin monkey.vet checked, potty, diapers trained darling baby shall be coming with her papers. Just provide a home and see for yourself how you have suddenly given birth to And angel on earth.send me a text at [Phone number removed by Examiner columnist] for more info and pictures
Seller Contact Info
Home [Phone number removed by Examiner columnist]
Often, like the add above, the numbers don’t even make sense. (Is it “free adoption” or $450?) But that’s not all that doesn’t make sense. There is the incredibly confused “see for yourself how you have suddenly given birth to And angel on earth.” It shouldn’t be too hard to see past this ruse.
Fuel for the AR fire against exotic pet owners
However, some people either can’t see the fraud for what it is… or choose not to. Animal rights activists often claim that the exotic pet trade is far more seedy than it is, citing the rampant ads on websites like these. Quoting self-professed experts like Big Cat Rescue’s Carol Baskin, even the World Wildlife Federation now claims “In some states, it is easier to buy a tiger than to adopt a dog from a local animal shelter.” It is not easy to purchase a monkey. There are breeders that you can purchase one from, but they are hardly the kind to place local ads. For instance, one well known breeder is the Primate Store online, but they thoroughly educate their potential owners, and screen them as well. What’s more, most monkeys cost closer to $3000, not $300. Those under $1000 are almost certainly the beginnings of a phishing scam, not life with a MonKid.
Balm for your bucket list
So, if you can’t have Curious George in your home, what can Utahns who are curious about these awesome animals do? Here are a few ideas!
- Visit one of the playful primates housed at Utah’s Hogle Zoo. Currently, they have Bolivian Gray Titi Monkeys, Orangutans, Squirrel Monkeys, Cotton top Tamarins, Hanuman Langurs, Ring-tailed Lemurs, Spider Monkeys, Gorillas, Black and White Ruffed Lemurs, Black Howler Monkeys, White-handed Gibbons, Wied’s Marmosets, and others. You can even adopt one of them and help support the care for an orangutan, gorilla, or gibbon. Depending on how much you can afford, you will get magnets, plush versions of your animal, invites to KeeperTalks, and more. In fact, if you visit for Thanksgiving’s Feast with the Beast, you could see primates (and other animals) interact with “everything from turkey shaped piñatas to pumpkins for the animals to stomp, roll, drop & chomp!”
- While not housing a collection like Hogle Zoo, the small Willow Park Zoo in Logan has Brown Capuchin Monkeys that have been a visitor favorite for years.
- One might expect to see pigs, cows, and sheep at the state fair, but it is quite something else to find out you can not only see lemurs, but for a small price, be allowed to hold and interact with them. However, that is exactly the opportunity Tammy Thomson’s Lemur Land of Madagascar has been bringing to the Utah State Fair the past few years. It is very much hoped that this tradition will continue. It is a unique, memory-making experience for any age lemur lover!
- Pledge now not to buy candy or other products that use palm oil from orangutan land!
- If your child is asking for a pet monkey for Christmas, be wise enough use it as teaching opportunity. Instead of just saying no or “you can ask Santa!” why not explaining to them why primates like monkeys and chimps are such difficult pets, intelligent and emotional creatures, and often suffer greatly at the hands of irresponsible owners? If the wish is a whim anyway, perhaps you can instead give them a FurReal Friends “My Giggly Monkey Pet” (so much cuter and less creepy than the newest Elmo!), Or if your child is more mature, perhaps symbolically adopting a real monkey, either from Hogle Zoo as previously mentioned or through an organization such as the Jane Goodall Institute, can help your children feel good about doing something awesome for their favorite animal!