This is the third in a series of ‘Netflix streaming roulette’ reviews. Austin horror examiner Michael Taylor reviews the first movie off ‘Netflix’ streaming that he’s never seen before. Wish him luck.
‘Miami Connection’ is not a horror movie. But it is so horribly, yet amazingly bad, that it warrants reviewing, especially since it’s distributed by Austin’s Drafthouse Films.
It was filmed in 1987, and has been gaining status as a cult classic over the years, and after viewing it on Netflix, we must concur it is a true best worst movie, unlike the recent ‘Sharknado’ which we discussed last week.
The plot, of which there is little, is a real head scratcher. The main characters are college students, who are all members of synth rock band Dragon Sound. In addition, they are all martial arts experts, who battle a group of evil drug dealing ninjas. The primary reasons being one of the bad guys doesn’t like his sister dating one of the musicians.
If it sounds unbelievable, it’s far more bizarre once you’ve watched it.
It’s all the mad vision of taekwondo instructor Y.K. Kim and movie director Richard Park. Kim co-writes and directs. He’s also the lead actor
He certainly shoehorns himself into the plot, very awkwardly. He is clearly far older than the other college kids in the movie, and interacts with them oddly. He feeds his friends grapes by hand. They are partially nude, and he comes across like a lecherous landlord.
Much of the movie plays like a bad 80’s video, showcasing the music of Dragon Sound, which plays on all the most tedious elements of 80’s pop music. What’s even more maddening is that the songs, as terrible as they are, get lodged into your skull for long after you’ve seen the movie.
The song ‘Friends’ is a perfect example, with lyrics that sounds like a summer camp folk song: “Friends through eternity, loyalty, honesty/We’ll stay together through thick or thin/Friends forever, we’ll be together/We’re on top because we plan to win.”
A sub-plot involving a student who is reunited with his long lost father is meant to be touching, but is flat out incongruous and hilarious.
The bad guys later kidnap him, which sets up the main action scenes of the film.
The fight scenes are over the top and drag on forever, which only adds to the hilarity.
The film has a classic 80’s freeze-frame finale, which ends with this quote before the credits roll “Only by eliminating violence can world peace be achieved.”
Odd words given the bloodlust that closes out the film.
You can call ‘Miami Connection’ terrible, but it sure isn’t boring. It’s a true cinematic train wreck that must be seen to be believed.
In addition to streaming on Netflix, the movie will be showing at Alamo Drafthouse locations late this summer and in the fall. This is a must for fans of ‘so bad they’re good’ movies.
Click here for more info on ‘Miami Connection’, including show times and merchandise; visit the official page on the Drafthouse website.