Not every first-degree murder defendant dresses up or cleans up nicely for their trial. Students of criminal justice encounter three such exceptional case studies in 2013.
In fact, the 2013 sizzling summer trial troika features close encounters of the repulsive kind, with defendants Jodi Ann Arias, George Zimmerman and Andrea Sneiderman.
Whether they decide to strategically starve off their un-feminine six-pack, perfect the Oprah Winfrey “ugly cry,” or simply consume their guilt with food, the summer’s hottest defendants are all undergoing strategic and dramatic trial make-unders.
Only time will tell if their repellent and pathetic strategies work as well for them as they did for Casey Anthony. The surprise “hail-Mary,” classic Anthony pony tail strategy may very well have saved Arias from the Death Penalty, in the 11th hour with a hung jury.
Watch the three murder-one contestants vie for the best defendant make-under of 2013, and decide for yourself.
- Premeditated murder convict number 1: Jodi Ann Arias, stalker and killer of Travis Victor Alexander.
Jodi Ann Arias, at first blush, (looking past the fake blush, the prominent fangs and her incongruous eyes), was a surgically enlarged, bleached blonde, one-time amateur model with amazing and deceptive temptress powers.
According to her would-be alibi-beau Ryan Burns, Arias was incredibly strong and had a very impressive “six-pack” of abdominal muscles.
Five years of sitting for interviews, tracing other artists’ work and binging and purging on pickles and pork rinds in jail, however, has given Jodi that pale, fragile, pathetic look that violent criminal defendants and their lawyers absolutely adore.
Horn-rimmed glasses and little side pony tails give the perfect finishing touch for looking out-of-touch.
See more of Jodi Arias’ “beauty secrets.”
Education Examiner thinks there should be a law against 32 year-old defendants wearing their old Girl Scout uniforms in criminal court.
Arias will reprise her role as “Snow White, victim of domestic abuse,” for her sentencing trial in July.
Read some of Arias’ most idiotic statements.
- Murder defendant 2: George Zimmerman, killer of unarmed teenager, Trayvon Martin
Watch Zimmerman morph from his first corpulent mug shot in 2005–when he assaulted a woman and later assaulted a cop–back to normal-looking, pistol-packing neighborhood-watch killer in 2012, and then back again to his 2013 trial-ready, law enforcement-fighting weight.
- Premeditated murder defendant 3: Andrea Sneiderman, AKA “Bathsheba”
When she set up her deluded fake lover to kill the father of her children to be with a third lover, Sneiderman was sure to leave behind lots of pretty pics looking happily married to her doomed husband, Rusty.
When she gets to trial, however, Bathsheba will want to look more like someone whom no man would ever want to touch.
That turns out not to be a problem for a killer who has perfected the Oprah “ugly cry.”
Be sure to view the slide show, enjoy some comic relief from these tragic trials, and then meet and pay some respect to three young, promising Americans, who were all victims of senseless violence.