Today, Reddit user Sauccey posted a photo of an amusing yet unsettling decoration he claims to have spotted in his dentist’s office. The meme is part of series called Scumbag Dentist, which likens practices such as talking to patients while working on their teeth to the annoying habits of Scumbag Steve. The post has accumulated 4018 up votes and 813 comments in four short hours.
Comments ranged from typical advice about oral hygiene and funny stories about the dentist office to more a more disturbing conversation about injuries that can result from fellatio.
Here’s a highlight reel:
Ken27238: As I’m cleaning your teeth let me carry on a conversation with you. I CAN’T [explicative deleted] TALK WITH ALL OF THIS METAL IN MY [explicative deleted] MOUTH!!
- TheBourbinator:Alright, I’ll give my perspective as a dental student. Either we sit there in silence and I go about my business, or I talk to you to try and distract you from the things that I am doing in your mouth while making it a more human/personable experience. Sure, questions might not be the best idea since you can’t reply, but you run out of random stuff to say pretty fast if you just babble on without throwing out the occasional “Did you see that play during the Heat game last night…” etc. If you are that annoyed by it just bring some headphones. I’ll tap you if I need something.
- Myteethareclean: We do this on purpose. It’s [explicative deleted] amusing. Source: I am a dental hygienist.
- Mountain15: Dentist: “So tell me your life story” Me: “AHJHAR HGHARFGAHHGRBAHAGHAAH!” Dentist: “You should write an autobiography.”
3d6: Is it safe?
- Ninemarrow: This might sting a little. PREPARE THE IRON MAIDEN.
- Random314: whizzzzzzzzzzzz “Muhahahahaha!” whizzzzzZZZZZZZ
Navi1101: :STAB! STAB! STAB!: Oh, your gums are bleeding! You clearly need to floss more. :STAB! STAB!: ಠ_ಠ
- YzermanToLidstrom: If you flossed daily your gums wouldn’t bleed.
- Navi1101: This is probably true. It is also probably true that if I wasn’t being stabbed repeatedly in the gums with a sharpened hook, they would not bleed. :(
Smeeee: “You look a little scared about what’s going to happen… Here, let me and my assistant lean over you like we’re a couple of aliens that are about to insert an oral probe”
- electron-shock: One time the dental assistant was very pregnant, and her stomach was against the top of my head while she was looking in my mouth. Her baby kicked me.
- CanadianD: That baby sounds like a douchebag
- Space301: That’s prenatal assault. Sue them straight to hell.
Gooncraw: …I’ve always had female dentists. I’m 6’4, and have a pretty big head. 10/10 dentist visits are me laying in the chair with tools in my mouth and my dentists boobs on my chin. I actually like going to the dentist.
- Rasing: My dentist also has a big rack with open top cleavage, she doesn’t seem to care if I look but I have the feeling that when I do she pokes the electric device of pain harder on my gums
Yarcoffin: Flossing twice a day? DONT YOU LIE TO ME
- mookiemookie: They also know if you give oral sex too. Fellatio Petechia.
- LoGANSaLOSER: Fellatio Petechia – n., the little bits of dick that get stuck in between the teeth of the fellator
- Utexaspunk: For those who are curious, this is not what Fellatio Petechiae is. It’s a ring-like bruising/swelling of the soft palate caused by broken blood vessels due to vigorous/prolonged deep-throating. A decent BJ should not involve “bits of dick” coming off…
- Onsnapitsjoey: Speak for yourself
- Eygen: Hey, Zombies need some good lovin’ too.
- Searingsky: Apparently my GF has been doing it all wrong all this time. Thank God. just kidding I don’t have a GF :(