The Splinter Cell franchise is known for breaking ground. The original redefined the stealth genre and set the graphical standard for console gaming during its time. Splinter Cell: Conviction made the genre more action-oriented with its innovative cover system and stylish “mark and execute” feature. Splinter Cell:Blacklist, which comes out on August 20th, looks to refine the elements that made Conviction a great hit.
Meanwhile, the next Splinter Cell is already in the works and is slated for an early 2015 release for the Xbox One, PS4 and PC according to a reliable source. Although gameplay details weren’t discussed, it was revealed that Splinter Cell is going to make waves in the entire industry by becoming the first video game to feature a transgender protagonist.
That’s right. Sam Fisher is going to get a sex change. According to the source who wishes to remain anonymous and be referred to as “John,” at around the halfway mark of the campaign Fisher will infiltrate a hi-tech facility in which only women are permitted.
When asked why not just send in a female agent he answered, “Yes we could do that but how fun would that be? This sort of thing has never been done in video games and it will be historic. Sam Fisher will be getting a complete anatomical overhaul for this specific mission. Use your imagination. And yes, there will be shower scenes.” Needless to say, the next Splinter Cell is likely to get an “M” rating.
John admitted they are well aware of the potential backlash neutering one of gaming’s most beloved male icons could bring. “We realize and embrace the controversy this will create. We feel it is a necesary step in Sam Fisher’s evolution not just as a hero, but as a human being. He will be forced to deal with issues he never had to when he had a p***s.”
John confirmed that Michael Ironside will be reprising his role as Sam Fisher, which should be great news to many fans who were sorely disappointed by Ironside’s absence in Blacklist. “We strongly believe that Michael Ironside is critical to making fans warm up to the idea of a transgender Fisher. Michael will be the voice of Sam before and after the operation. Prepare to be amazed by his wide vocal range.”
“We understand that this is a delicate subject,” John continued. “We promise to treat this in a mature and tasteful manner. You won’t be hearing the surgeons cracking Lorena Bobbitt jokes during Sam’s procedure. Furthermore, you can rest assured that Fisher will be losing his p***s for a very noble cause. I don’t know of any other man who will give up his manhood for the greater good. I hope this Sam Fisher becomes an inspiration to us all.”
As to whether or not Sam Fisher gets his operation reversed John said, “Anything is possible. Fisher lost his daughter in Double Agent and found out she was alive in Conviction. What sweeter thing is there than for a man to be reunited with his p***s? We’ll just have to wait and see.”
