“No one would say that they set out to get into a relationship with an insecure man. However, that’s exactly what many women do. In fact, an insecure man can be especially tempting to you, particularly if your last relationship was with a narcissistic man who was all about himself and not so interested in you, or a predatory man who was happy to let you support him.
Viewed through the eyes of a woman who has been burned in a one of these relationships, an insecure man may seem sensitive and interested in you. In one way that it true: he is interested in the love you have to offer. But beware–the insecure man can also be a bottomless pit that might just drain you of every drop of love you possess.
You might ask, “Why would anyone want to do that?!” Well, one reason is that insecurity is not an all-or-none thing. Some men are so severely insecure that it might be impossible to have a viable relationship with them. On the other hand, many men are somewhat insecure, but not as insecure as your husband. In that case, the thing to avoid doing is making that insecurity worse.” by Dr. Joe Nowinski.
So why all the insecurity? We can start with obvious; many women truly make it difficult to feel any since of security. If there was not all the comparison that men tend to overhear, they wouldn’t suspect that all women do it. Sometimes you girls seem glorify assets of other men, their jobs, the way they dress, their car, height and of course the infamous “size” matters debate. Sometimes it can simply boil down to how you talk to him.
If you feel that he is flawed in any of these areas, find a way to help him correct it, but first make sure that it is not your perception that is actually flawed. You girls are not perfect either maybe. Insecure men come in all disguises, but most share the common traits of appearing sensitive and caring.
To most women a caring man who listens is a hot commodity; but it quickly changes when his insecure traits take over the relationship. Of course a husband’s argument could be “if we’re not meeting any other needs of yours why care to listen.” But, most of the time you will find an overzealous listener is fueled by over flowing insecurity.
While most people possess some level of insecurity, problems arise when a person’s level of insecurity affects the majority of the relationship. You can tell an insecure man you love him, but he questions why. You may say that you’re tired and would like to go to sleep. He assumes you’re just not attracted to him anymore.
Nothing you can say or do will make an excessively insecure man, secure. It’s a waste of time, effort, and energy, although, again some women add to their insecurity with comparison. And normally the person who ends up drained, could be you, wife. A quote from an unknown source; “From my last situation, I quickly learned that everything else could be great about a man; but insecurity will more than likely overshadow it all.”
So what men are hearing is; cloths, car, job, hair or “size” only counts if he feels secure, although any of these things can create insecurity, otherwise insecurity trumps them all. The same insecurity that could have, more than likely, been manifested by a wife or previous girlfriend.
Wow husbands, what do you do with that. Some husbands have encountered wives for whom all the before mentioned categories matter, and matter big. What’s more confusing is that it all matters. All of these things are always considered.
More marriage article: http://usedview.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez