This summer’s relationship and dating advice tomes are proof that we are tired of the same ‘ole, same ‘ole. Or maybe just ready to take a lighter look at the sometimes horrendous world of singledom and dating. I have heard more than a few times from the newly single and not so newly single that “It’s hard out here.” “Out here” referring to the current world of dating.
With dating sites and social networks that make deception as much a part of the game as dating itself, what’s a girl to do? Or a guy for that matter. The scams are endless, and it’s downright sad when the “desperately seeking love” fall prey.
What the latest dating advice books offer is levity. We know it’s not all fun and games, but if it’s no fun at all, then you’re probaby doing it wrong.
Niecy Nash kicked off the season with her book It’s Hard to Fight Naked. It’s a book for couples and singles alike. In it, Niecy shares dating advice for women.
Unlike the title, she largely reserves the “getting naked” part for post-commitment relationships. Niecy Nash wants you to find love. She invites you to think differently about traditional norms and matters of the heart. None of this “there are no good men left” nonsense. With an attitude like that, you might as well keep your butt at home because you already believe unhappiness is yours to claim.
In It’s Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser are proponents of individual wisdom and instincts. “Trust yourself.” The authors poignantly address the reality of relationships, which is that each is unique, and there are rarely “always” and “nevers” that can be applied across the board.
You must create your own boundaries and requirements based on what you want and need.
In the latest addition to library of relationship wisdom, wit is used to make the advice digestable. Comedian Loni Love says she was surprised at how many people were asking her for relationship advice, and so she compiled some anecdotes to help.
Love Him Or Leave Him, But Don’t Get Stuck With the Tab: Hilarious Advice for Real Women is a book of advocacy for women and a message of confidence and self-worth.
Loni says, “You can love him or you can leave him, but the day a man starts taking advantage of you is when you need to remember that putting yourself first is the most important step in finding love. That’s the foundation for all the advice I give, because it’s a message so many women need to hear, over and over..”
Sure you can act like a lady and think like a man, or admit that he’s just not that into you, but the path to lasting love is looking out for number one and treating yourself like the great catch you are.
If you’re in a great relationship, Loni gives tips on keeping it strong. (Love him.) If you’re having problems that seem insurmountable, she tells you how to extricate yourself from difficult situations. (Leave him.) But no matter what, don’t let yourself get bullied, cheated on, or taken advantage of (aka Stuck with the Tab).
Well put. These easy fun reads are great food for thought and perfect for keeping it light while you’re enjoying the summer sun.