Today I was “that Mom.” My kid had a meltdown in Starbucks and was given a last chance until his beloved cake pop would be taken. He pressed his luck, and as much as it made my entire soul hurt to literally “take candy from a baby,” I did it sometime around him yelling “NO!” at me when I told him to get off the floor. Into the garbage went one uneaten lemon cake pop.
The sobbing that ensued hurt my soul. And the kid was upset too.
I feel like when I write I should have some type of wisdom to impart on the world, but frankly I just need an outlet to say “being a Mom is hard.” For all of us. Yes, I heard the comments about how mean I was from the other patrons. I also heard an older gentleman praise me. Either way, I don’t care. The look on my baby boy’s face was the most gut-wrenching thing I’ve ever witnessed.
How on earth are we supposed to do this all the time?!
I’ve read all the books. Dobson, Kimmel, and the list goes on. And sure they can tell us the reasons why discipline is important and how we are shaping character and blah blah blah. I don’t need the reasons. What I need is them to crawl through the pages of my kindle and hold my hand and say “it’s okay Mama. This is what love looks like.”
I know that the way I raise my child was absolutely revolutionized when I decided that I was raising my son for my son’s sake and not for everyone else’s. That it’s totally okay if I am raising my child differently than the person next door and we very well may both be right for our individual children. That my punishments won’t look like their punishments and my rewards may not look like their rewards. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t need each other to say “hey, it’s okay. You are doing just fine.” And more importantly, give us a big hug when we have to do the hard stuff.
Today, I need the reminder that discipline is a deliberate act with a deliberate goal. That it’s creating good no matter how much it hurts. I really do know these things. And then days like today come and I just want to scream at the top of my lungs: BUT IT’S SO FRIGGING HARD.
All of this to say, today it’s hard. And I just wanted everyone to know that because tomorrow it might be hard for them, too. I just wanted to remind everyone that we aren’t alone.
Now I’m going to go give my kiddo a hug, mostly because I need one.
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